Pain Incurred From Comparison

04 Feb Pain Incurred From Comparison

Why do people feel a lot of pain, as soon as they begin comparing themselves to another person?

 Have you ever wondered why you feel a weird kind of pain, inside your heart when you look at a person who is living a better life than you?

Or sometimes felt this drastic pain, deep within your heart, (and you know that it ain’t a physical problem) when you come across a person who is of your same caliber and potential but somehow is more successful than you in their life?

Or when you meet someone whom you love very dearly, and have always been happy for the things they have achieved in life, and yet a pain lingers, inside of your heart?

And the list tends to go on and on and on.

So what is this pain?

And why do you feel it most of the time in your life?

Well, friends, let me break the ice here for you. 

What is the pain of comparison?

This negative vibe or feeling inside your heart that has churned up because you started comparing yourself with another person is called the pain of comparison.

This pain is self-inflicted, it means that you and you alone are responsible for creating this pain to yourself, this is because you have decided not to stay happy and content with the things or people that you have in life, instead you have decided to “compare” yourself with another person, either with people in your friend circle, family circle or even a total stranger whom you know nothing about.

The minute you start comparing yourself and (I would like to personally call it degrading yourself), that is when you start slipping into this terrible pit filled with pain inside your heart, that makes you feel depressed, sad, frustrated, irritated, unhappy and a lot more.

This comparison act is unhealthy, wrong and doesn’t need to be entertained.

Because this only takes you down a path, where you only tend to blame yourself and anything and everything related and connected to you, be it people, places, things, or even circumstances.

But, before I go ahead any further and explain the same, 

There are a few pointers that you can take a look at to get rid of this pain of comparison from your life and stay happy and content forever:

1. Love yourself first- Always remember to love yourself, just the way you are, because you are unique in your ways. Make sure to find some time to do things that you love and care about. Engage in things and topics that will make you happier, spend time with your loved ones, take care of your physical health, stay and remain fit and fine.
2. Every cloud has a silver lining– Just because things aren’t happening for you right away doesn’t mean that things are never going to work for you, just give it some time and things will fall in place all by itself.
3. Learn to keep a positive attitude day in day out- The positive attitude in you is sure to take you places, so stay optimistic always.
4. The only person responsible for your happiness is you alone- No one can bring or inflict pain on you, you alone are responsible for your happiness, so make sure you do the right thing and justice to yourself by staying happy through life.
5. Have Patience and keep calm- patience is a virtue and a lot can be achieved from it.
6. Thank God-Stay connected with God almighty and thank him for all the things that he has blessed you with, be it large or small.
7. Look at the world through a larger screen- Take a look at the world from a larger perspective as well as a different angle.
8. Change your perspective-Learn to look at the life of people below you instead of above you, and this will make you realize, with the amount of great and wonderful things that you are blessed with. 
9. You are irreplaceable- No one can replace you, you are the only person who can do handle the things that has come your way in life.
10. It’s ok to be yourself- I will have to agree with Phoebe on this ( Courtesy: Friends)

              “It is ok to be completely you”.

 Here is the Thing, 

Why do people tend to compare their lives? The actual truth behind it.

You tend to compare your life with others, only because:

• You are under the misunderstanding that they are living a better life than you.
• They are much happier than you.
• They have everything you always wished for.
• You are the only person facing so many difficulties altogether.
• You are unlucky and so on.

Well, what you need to understand is that all the above-mentioned pointers aren’t true.

Remember the phrase, “The grass looks greener on the other side of the river”.

This is more or less like that, the truth that you need to understand is that: Every single human being in this whole wide world is going through a rough patch of their own, just because they laugh around, play around, and remain cheerful throughout the day, doesn’t mean that they are completely and totally happy and content in their life, only when you take a closer look into their lives or when you step into their shoes will you understand the issue, problem and troubles they are going through their own lives. Everyone has to overcome challenges in their life, even though it might be different issues for each one.

It might also come as a surprise to you, that you are the only person responsible for you,

Not your parents, not your children, not your relatives, or even your friends.

You get to decide what you want with your life, ie

You may either decide to stay happy and joyful.

Or you can decide to stay sad and in pain.

All I can tell you is that “it’s all up to you”.

Your skin colour, your financial status, your gender, your built, your physique, your sexual orientation, your looks, your community, your bloodline, your genes and rest of all has nothing to do with the fact that you are different and unique by yourself and it is absolutely ok to be so.

It’s okay to be different! 

How to remove the pain created due to comparison in life, or what measures to undertake to avoid comparison and lead a healthy and happy life.

Listen to yourself first- 

1. Everything depends on your attitude towards living the life you have, you may either live your life the way you want it or the way people around you want it.
2. Don’t let people decide and suggest what they think you want in life or tell you what you are missing in your life.
3. When you live the life your way, you will be the utmost happiest, however when you decide to live a life to please people around you (which is not at all necessary) that is when you start comparing others with yourself and end up sad and unhappy.
4. Just because another person thinks that you haven’t been successful in life, or that you are missing out on something in life, doesn’t have to be agreed to.
5. Always ask yourself the question- do you need that (a particular thing) to stay happy in life? if the answer is no, then go ahead with your life, and if the answer is yes, then simply keep trying hard for the same, and one day you will accomplish the same.
6. Stay thankful and happy for what you are blessed with in life.
7. Instead of comparing yourself with someone else’s life, try and stay focused in your own life.
8. Don’t lose your energy on unwanted things; use it for something better in your own life.

Once all these points are taken care of, you will no longer require comparing and thus get away from the pain induced by it.

Footnote:

Always remember:

• Nobody is perfect and you have all the right to remain nobody.
• Stay brave, focused, determined and positive.
• Everyone in the world is fighting a war of their own.
• Keep trying until you succeed.
• Never ever give up.
• Take everything that comes up your way as a challenge and confront it.
• Convert every weakness of yours into strength.
• It’s ok to be different.

Stay Different, Stay unique, Stay happy and Be yourself.